“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair
Welcome to my first post! Since this whole website and my life’s calling is about the heart I thought it would be a great starting point to welcome you to my blog with a post around the heart. And I believe one of the best ways to get into the heart is to talk about dreams.
What Everyone Desires
About every human I have encountered wants their dreams to come to pass—no matter how much they think they are possible. This is the very reason they are called dreams. We don’t simply label them “wants,” “wishes,” “tasks,” or “to-do-lists”, but—“dreams”—we want these babies most.
Dreams call us out at our most raw, vulnerable and—joyful state.
Dreams call us forth to risk, to trust, and—exercise faith.
Dreams elicit courage out of us with magnetic force.
Dreams come from desire, in fact I believe they are the strongest form of desire.
And because of the sensitivity and fragility of dreams, they force us to face the demons in the closet of our heart. Dreams inevitably raise all kinds of fight(defense) or flight(escape) emotions in us: overprotection, insecurity, skittishness, doubt, frenzy, fear, fear, fear, and did I mention fear?
It has been a dream of mine to blog—for twelve years—yes I have put it off for 4,380 days. To some this may seem ridiculous.
The critic in my head has said, “Tim, it is a bloody blog post, just write something down and hit the ‘publish’ button—get over it!”
It hasn’t been that simple for me—because it was a dream—I have had to wage a war in my heart to get here, to write these very sentences–to deal with fear.
And here I am. And here you are!
And I know the courage that brought me here will build up new reserves of momentum because that is what has happened every other time I have stepped out. About every dream I have pursued including: blogging, writing books, starting a business, going to Grad School, leaving a job, marrying, having children, moving across country, or building the Design Discovery framework has felt elusive and downright impossible from the get-go.
It is good that we feel this: the elusiveness, the feeling that dreams are untouchable, and sometimes only as heavy as a faint whisper.
Dreams are supposed to feel like we are approaching the unknown, because they aren’t known yet—you and I are the missing variable that are meant to make it a reality. In fact, the vast majority of the time I don’t believe God is the missing variable, because I believe He is waiting on us to step out, to risk, to trust—this is the truest definition of faith I know.
Dreams are the vision of our heart’s design. Literally, they give us a picture of what could be…if and only if, we breach the fear that stands between us and them—to experience the reality that exists in the form of the visual of the dream in our heart.
Starting to Move Dreams into Reality
In my life I know that dreams only stay in the night and never make it into the day of my life when I am doing one thing–or more accurately not doing one thing–when I don’t pay attention to them, when I don’t name them. When dreams are untouched, left only as a “What if” thought in the middle of the night, they can escape deep into our conscience, only to come out when things snowball badly for us. Usually at that point its seems like they only awaken to shame us—to show us how much we have screwed it up, and so we can develop a bitter relationship with them.
In The One Thing, the authors refer to the powerful account of Bronnie Ware. Ware, the author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, took care of the dying in palliative care for her profession. In her work she asked the dying what they wished they had done differently—to name their regrets.
“As tough as these were, one stood out above them all. The most common regret was this: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me. Half-filled dreams and unfulfilled hopes: this was the number-one regret expressed by the dying. As Ware put it, ‘Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.’” (The One Thing, p. 225)
I once had a conversation with a Hollywood director who is known for award-winning documentaries. I asked him about what his thoughts were on doing a feature-film around the topic of purpose or design. His eyes lit up! He explained to me that in his life he has traveled to many different parts of the world and according to his experience he thought that the vast majority—more than 90% of the world does not seem to be living out their deepest dreams and purpose. This shocked me.
The more I interact with people on a heart or design-level, the more I agree with his statement—that most seem to file their dreams into the “yeah—maybe for others, but not me” category.
What will give us the courage to courageously look at our dreams so we can ask, “What must I do to begin this journey?”
We cannot act on what is unnamed, and we cannot act on what is not on the front of us. To get them out in front of us, we need to talk about them and ask others about theirs. If we value dreams enough we will do this hard and worthy work.
Granted, it is a sensitive topic to talk about dreams with others at times, but it is worth the risk—if you can help people avoid the thing they might regret most on their deathbed, and help them befriend and launch into life of adventure and joy— I think you have done them an act of service.
So, I believe, the first step is to name your dreams. Give them attention, give your heart space to percolate and simmer by naming them. I want to encourage you to put them down on paper and put it somewhere that you can’t easily miss in your daily activities. And one last thing—tell someone about them. Tell someone who isn’t a curmudgeon— someone you know isn’t going to mock you. If you can’t think of someone, pop me a message through the contact form (Contact Link) on this website and tell me, I will believe in them and pray for them to happen in your life.
When you taste the beauty and power of stepping into courage to move towards your dreams, the more you do, something beautiful happens—you will change, your capacity for joy expands, you will see life differently, you will appreciate people more, you will see God more in the world. I believe this is because God gives parachutes to those after we jump the cliff, otherwise we would depend too much on ourselves. I’m not saying that you should ignore all wisdom and logic, but that there will always be a sense of uncertainty when you do jump, or you are not taking a risk.
I am here with you in this life and cheering you on to take a good look at the dreams that are calling out to you today.